Motivated to be unmotivated.

It’s amazing how one short sentence can make someone feel so unmotivated.

It’s also amazing that motivation and discouragement can sometimes lead to the same result.

But what’s more amazing is how encouragement can result in becoming discouraged.

I’ve been really unmotivated lately thanks to homework, but it’s not necessarily the homework in general. Continue reading “Motivated to be unmotivated.”

I titled this well

Youtube, school, writing, etc. (Update)

On the first of February, I started year 11. Before I even started year 11 though I had to essentially write 3 different essays/assignments (well, that’s how it felt). I DID manage it… eventually… My computer was re-imaged on Thursday and I have been busy copying shit off my hard drive to be able to do my school work and write again. 

Youtube

I have a few issues with youtube that I will have to continually deal with.
First one being that my videos take ages to upload. This is (obviously) because of how little upload speed I have, .7 megabits which is not even a tenth of a megabyte. Only way to solve this at all is to either upload at night or when I am at school.
Second issue I have is that I can’t get video editing software on my school laptop which means I need to use a different computer if I want to edit anything. The laptop I can use is my brothers and he has a bit of a habit of wanting to be on it when I am motivated to use it. Hopefully I’ll be able to build a PC sometime soonish.
Finally, I don’t have a recording software on my laptop nor do I have a capture card on my xbox, so the only way for me to get footage is to record using the xboxDVR or an external camera, and lets face it, the quality of that is horrid. An external camera is the only way I can record mic without trying to record audio on another device then try and fit together. If anyone knows of any way to record party audio on the XboxOne please let me know, it would be extremely appreciated.
Oh god this is already longer than I thought it would be

Despite all this I will be trying hardish to get videos out there.
I have decided to try expand my content to all sorts of things I enjoy doing. Discussing my opinion on different things, regular gaming, and now analysis of the intros of different animes I have watched.
I may change my content in the future.

School

From the looks of it thus far, school is going to be a little bit of a bag of dicks, here’s why.
For every lesson I have on Psychology I have to read/watch these videos and pages then write notes on it all, prior to the lesson. I have 3 lessons every week so I am writing around a page of notes each week while also adding words to a glossary. On top of this I have a few students in my grade that I dislike quite a bit and my teacher seems very set in her ways.
For Maths there is a chance that I will get a lot of homework but that might also depend on what I finish in class. Hopefully I won’t get any homework apart from stuff I didn’t finish during class. If I keep a neat ‘cheat book’ for exams I won’t need to study too much as well. My class is very noisy which could be problematic.
With Media I will have quite a few assignments, I’m going to assume a lot of analysis, and I think there is one where you choose between a short film or a poster. My teacher seems pretty good and my class is alright at least.
In IT I have to keep a site running and change it overtime in order to pass which will be a bit of a pain. Thanks to my prior knowledge in coding from randomly reading code and then also doing lots of coding in minecraft I am learning HTML, CSS and java coding quite quickly which is good.
With Philosophy it should be quite easy going, just need to make sure I remember stuff for the exams and write down all the notes I need to in class.
English will be difficult as there are lots of assignments, exams, essays, oral presentations etc and if I fail English I will have to repeat. My class seems decent at least.
Finally, social aspects of school will probably be interesting as I have been posting links to any videos or posts I put up on here or youtube to my facebook which has maybe 90% of the students in my year level. I also want to write and draw more often which means I need to take time out of something and right now, the only thing that I can cut back on is gaming since I can’t take random days off school nor can I not do homework or sleep. 

Writing/Drawing

With my writing, I really want to improve and write as much as I can, I love writing opinion stuff because it allows me to prove to myself how well I actually can analyse different aspects of peoples lives and also see how my opinion evolves overtime. I love arguments/discussions because it allows me to hear different opinions which then lets me analyse my own again and be able to improve it.
The thing I would really enjoy doing is create and express a story to people, that’s why I enjoy writing short stories so much. I want to get better at drawing so I can create comics/mangas.
The comic that I started last year I may try continuing at some point but I will not be using colour as it takes twice as long to get the right shade just to realize I don’t like it.

Life

Well since it’s summer I’m going to be even less motivated to do much of anything. My grandpa died quite recently so on Sunday we dropped off my mum at the airport because she is going to South Africa for the week. Feel a bit traumatized from the holiday homewrok still. I pre-ordered Halo Wars 2 the other day after playing the blitz beta. I’m going to try get into reading a chapter of a book every week or so. I’m incapable of streaming as my internet is too shit which is pretty annoying. I’ve started trying to teach myself guitar and I’ve gotten pretty decent. 
Despite the difficulties and stresses of school and life I am sure I will be able to get through.

Why I like school and don’t want to finish

Now I know that there are absolute shit tons of students that hate school and wonder why it exists in the first place. Then there are students that go to school and are pretty neutral when it comes to it. And there are also students that are geniuses and love school. Then there’s me.

I actually like going to school and experiencing all these different things such as all the different kinds of relationships and all the different types of people that you meet. But you can also experience these things out of school right? Well yea, but for me personally, I would rather go to school and talk to someone I’ve seen around before or been forced to talk to due to them being a teacher or being put into a group with someone than walk up to a random stranger and try spike a conversation. That’s another reason I like the internet so much, you can communicate with someone thousands of kilometers away without having to make them feel uncomfortable (well I guess that depends on the site/game and situation).

Another reason that I enjoy school is that I get to (usually) learn something new, be it a new way to solve a problem, a new formula in Maths or just the meaning of a word in English. I actually saw a video ages ago and at some part of it, the guy said that school is the way to pass down information to each generation in order to advance us all as a whole. Not a lot of people care about knowing ‘useless information’ but the more you know the easier it is for you to learn more.

Kinda don’t want to add this reason in but I feel the need to. If I didn’t have to go to school, a job, anywhere outside then I wouldn’t and don’t unless I feel a need to. My only need to go outside when I am on school holidays is either family related, my friends have organised something or I need to briefly lay outside to clear my head so I can properly focus. When school is on I do actually enjoy going because I have a reason to be outside.

And now finally, the reason I don’t want school to finish. When school finishes I will have a lot more time which either means I’ll start binge playing video games or be bored. But since the end of school is inevitable I will have to become mature enough to not waste all my time just sitting on my chair playing games and get a part time job for maybe an hour a day while I try and get something published and hopefully be at the stage where I can get some amount of money off of my site.

I’ll of grown up, which I think is the real reason I don’t want school to end.

Day ‘no game’

So because I’ve been really distracted with games and everything I’ve decided to not play any games today and just purely write things for my site.

I want to do this not only because of how distracted I’ve been and how little holiday homework and writing I’ve done but also because I feel that if I can do a whole day without playing games I will be become more mature and have more control over myself when it comes to gaming and school work.

That’s more or less everything I wanted to say and I wanted to say it here so that I would be more motivated to actually do it.

Hope you enjoy the crap I’m going to write today which I will be posting throughout today and next week.

 

Life update thing

On Monday of this week I did my last exam and got to walk home in the heat and then flop onto my bed where I lay lifelessly for the next few hours until someone got home and fed me. My exams went from Monday of last week to the Monday of this week.

So far I only know my results for the English essays which were put together and averaged to 50%. The feedback I got is kinda confusing when it’s put with the mark because it sounds to me like I went into the negatives with my detail but somehow also showed that I understood the requirements of the exam and the task at the same time. Hopefully I can get the actual essays I did and see what I need to do differently next time.

On Wednesday and Thursday we had orientation for year 11. The way that they set it out was ridiculously annoying to deal with. They got everyone doing the one subject and put them in the same room and each session was split into 30 minute sessions where if you didn’t have one of those subjects to go to you had to go and sit in one of these set rooms in silence and ‘study’. Not only did my laptop die because I was using the wrong battery but I had absolutely nothing to do for (what felt like) 3 hours apart from write how annoyed I was on my calculator.

On the Thursday, I went with to the Royal Children’s Hospital. My brother had to go in for blood tests to see if he was able to do his next cycle of chemo. His bone marrow or something wasn’t being produced properly so he had to go in today to have an injection to boost it so he will be able to do chemo. I’m probably not going to say much about this or at least not for a while because I just don’t have much of an opinion on it.

Now that year 10 has finished and I have my school holidays I will be able to write a bit more and do more of the stuff I want to do. Right this moment I am getting captures off of the xbox so I can edit them into a video and actually get back into my youtube channel a bit. I’m going to really try and finish the drawing sometime soon because I’ve kept putting it back and then become busy whenever I have the motivation to do it.

Thanks everyone who has followed me, liked my posts or even just read them. Whether you disagree or agree with me, whether you hate me or love me, all I want is for someone to read the crap I write or look at my crap drawings. So thanks a lot everyone.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I am going to finish off an opinion piece sometime before the end of this week on the click bait on youtube. I am also going to write more of the story and maybe even start a few shorts with the character I’ve been drawing.

Upcoming Exams and school busyness

So over the past week and most of last week I’ve been pretty busy with school stuff and some other home related things which have made it a bit difficult to be able to work on anything and actually finish it with the little motivation and large amount of tiredness and stress weighing me down.
I also lost my computer stylus somewhere in my room last Friday and still haven’t found Continue reading “Upcoming Exams and school busyness”